Virtually Valentine

valentinesWhether you see Valentine’s as a joyful day in the middle of the most miserable month or the most miserable day in the middle of an otherwise joyful month, love in the tech world doesn’t disappoint.

Rather terrifyingly, like most things connected to the Internet, smart sex toys can be hacked. This probably won’t happen for the vulgar reasons you’re thinking but to steal the sign-up details of users or failing that, blackmail.

Staying on the theme of ‘love’ via the Internet, researchers at City University in London have invented ways to send a loved one a squeeze and kiss across the web. Perfect for everyone in a long distance relationship…

For anyone in extremely close distance relationships and getting inspired by the release of the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ film, don’t panic. Leading UK hardware retailer B&Q has advised its stores to stock up on cable ties, tape and rope and briefed staff on how to handle ‘potentially sensitive customer questions’.

Finally, if you’re a single gentleman this Valentine’s and feeling bitter about it, you should join the Kakumei-teki himote doumei or the ‘Revolutionary Alliance of Men that Women are not Attracted to’. The Japanese group hold several demonstrations a year to protest the holidays associated with romantic love. The release on its website for this year’s anti-Valentine’s parade is as hilarious as expected: ‘the blood-soaked conspiracy of Valentine’s Day, driven by the oppressive chocolate capitalists has arrived once again”. Look out for the guys wearing the infamous ‘sex is useless’ t-shirts this weekend.